The Floodgates of Heaven (We Need an Umbrella)

I promised a few posts ago to share the myriad ways our Lord has been generous toward us lately. This, my friends, is that post. I don't know that I'll even remember everything (such is my ungrateful human heart, to lose track of God's good gifts). Please don't misconstrue this as boastful in any way; on the contrary, Joel and I frequently look at one another in disbelief that the Lord has not dealt with us as we deserve. Certainly there is nothing in us that has earned any favor deserving of this kind of bountiful blessing. No, it is God Himself who is faithful and provident toward His children because of who He is.

I'd like to preface our list of blessings by giving some backstory. About nine months back, as a matter of fact. I was working my part-time postdoc gig, Mikayla was about six months old, and Joel was working his (cute) hiney off at two part-time jobs as he also worked on his Master's in Library Science. We were getting by, the Lord was providing, but the proverbial belt was tight around our budget each month. Our hopes and dreams obviously included Joel finishing his Master's degree, me finishing my postdoc and getting licensed as a psychologist, and one day having a larger vehicle for hauling kids, a larger home for housing kids, and...well, more kids.

Enter God's sense of humor.

On July 11, I found out that we were expecting baby #2. I will explain how this development itself fits into our list of blessings (as if the mere fact of a new life isn't reason enough to rejoice!), but in the midst of the picture painted above, you might be able to sense how it wasn't exactly an expected, planned-for development in the scheme of things. The day I took that pregnancy test, we just laughed. How in the world is the Lord going to pull this one off? We had no idea. So many details to fall into place, so many time-sensitive needs with Joel's schooling, need for full-time job, not to mention health insurance for a new baby, would I be able to finish my postdoc before the baby arrived, would we be able to afford ANOTHER unpaid maternity leave almost within a year of the previous one, how will we fit two carseats into one of our vehicles, and will our kids be ok with sharing a room? The questions just became more numerous the more we thought about it all.

Ultimately we decided to trust the Lord to weave all these details together. He has revealed His plan a single step at a time, and oh, how He has woven!

• We tried to get pregnant with Mikayla for a long time...a couple of years...and didn't expect it to ever be easy for us to conceive. That 2P is a "surprise" is a sign of the Lord's working in my body and in our lives to demonstrate the joy He takes in being plentiful in all things. It was as though He was saying, not only did I move my hand to give you a child after all your efforts...this one, I will drop into your lives unexpectedly to show you that it is I who authors life, with no need for you to toil or worry.
• Joel finished his degree in December, freeing his afternoons to take care of lots of housework as I focused almost exclusively on studying for my licensure exam. I had originally hoped to take the exam in December or January, but it would have been so difficult to take on the burden of studying at that time with all that Joel was doing.
• We prayed that the Lord would open a position at Alvernia, where Joel has been working. God graciously said no for a long time, but looking back, this was a way of answering prayer in a way that was better than what we would have planned!
• I scheduled my EPPP (licensure exam) for February 24. Studied like crazy, and was able to take it before 2P arrives!
• I finished my postdoc hours (all 1500 of them) as of February 23. (Talk about details fitting together like a glove.)
• The Lord caused a position to open at Alvernia just the week before my EPPP; the library director offered him the position the next day, to begin on March 1, a week after my EPPP such that we no longer have need for Joel to take care of housework while I study. He's completely free and clear to begin working full-time hours. We are so grateful for the timing of this, and especially for no application or interview process for Joel, and no move out of the area for us!
• Joel's new full-time position comes with health insurance that is superior to what we had. And it kicked in as of March 1, fully covering 2P's birth, including costs that we already paid out of pocket, resulting in an expected reimbursement from the birth center after delivery. We are so grateful that there was no wait period before his benefits start, or before he could enroll the rest of us!
• We have a couple of weeks for Joel to settle into his job, and for me to wrap up some licensure paperwork with my supervisor and get it all submitted to the state. No rush, just feeling nice and ready for baby to arrive.
• We are able to talk about when to trade in my car for a minivan, not if we will be able to someday.
• A move to a larger place is suddenly on our radar as well. It won't happen before we add 2P to our family, and it will still take some skillful financial planning and God's providence, but it is so much less stressful to think that it is an option for when we need to spread the kiddos out.
• Speaking of less stressful, a little bump in income right before a baby comes is just so gracious of the Lord. We are feeling like we can at least cover all those unexpected little expenses when you realize you need a few things at Target, etc.

Again, I don't list these things to boast or to focus your attention on how amazing our lives are at the moment. Frankly, we are going from "pretty broke" to "we can afford life!" so don't expect to see us tossing the Benjamins around any time soon. But we are also going from "how are we going to afford this baby, and maternity leave, and get by as a family of four?" to "oooh, so that's what the Lord had in mind when He decided to give us another baby!"

As in all things, His gift of this child is nothing more or less than a testimony to His great faithfulness, and an opportunity for Him to amaze us with His grace. We believe that He placed this baby boy in my womb for the sole purpose of glorifying Himself through the miracle of working all these details together. Please, join us in worshiping and thanking our great God for who He is. Truly, "the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." [Prov. 16:9]

Better He than I to determine my steps! Soli deo gloria!!

To My Full-Term 2P

Sweet baby boy, I know your big sister gets most of the attention at the moment because she is on the outside, and learning all sorts of new things every day. But you know what? You are so close to my heart, with me wherever I go, and your presence is so precious to me whether it's obvious to others or not. Today we have been together for 37 weeks, which means you could really decide to be born at any time now! And my sweet, we are so ready for you! My arms are longing for your tiny form, to hold you close, and I look forward to the long hours of nourishing and soothing and diapering you around the clock.

You seem like a mellow baby so far. You kick and roll and exercise your little muscles, but I don't think you have quite the vigor that your big sister did in my belly. I wonder if this will carry over in your personality after you are born, whether you will seem quiet and peaceful, or whether you have just been fooling me so far. I've also noticed that you hardly ever get hiccups, which is another marked difference between Mikayla and you! You are lower at this point than she was, though, and constantly remind me of your position with pressure on, well, everything. My hips feel as though they are spreading open with every step, and you squish my bladder especially when I stand up, as you settle down into place. Rolling over at night is quite the challenge too, as you are growing and gaining weight every day.

At my midwife appointment last week (36 weeks), Nancy said that you are moving lower, head down, and that my body is starting to prepare for your birth. I was 1.5 cm dilated and effacing nicely. I've had a burst of nesting energy lately that makes me wonder how soon you will be here, too. Sweet boy, have I mentioned how very excited we are to meet you?? I am so eager for that first labor pang that tells me you are on your way!

So don't wait too much longer, ok?

All my love,
Momma

A "Big Picture" Sort of Morning

I know, where is all this prolific blogging activity coming from, right?

1) No need to spend hours studying each morning anymore.
2) Still no energy to get up and do anything much different.
3) This seems more productive than honing my Mahjongg skills.

This is just a quick post to let you know that I will not be meeting any of my goals for the morning. These included, but were not limited to, getting over to Target for diapers, wipes, and toilet paper (nothing truly necessary, right?), and pushing through a whole heap of paperwork that would allow me to leave my client files in tip-top shape during my maternity leave. Oh and perhaps that load of socks and underwear that will become important tomorrow morning.

However. Achievement of said goals would have required me to do one of three things immediately following breakfast: 1) quick shower and get ready; 2) start on some of the paperwork; or 3) at least throw the laundry into the washer.

Go ahead, ask me how that went. Better yet, ask me how breakfast went. Because I was too lazy to even get myself something to eat while feeding Mikayla, so I was yet further behind than usual (and hungry to boot!).

Breakfast wasn't what derailed my morning, though. In fact, I am eating a bowl of cereal while I blog, so clearly I am capable of the multitask when it comes to food. No, the real "problem" was that my sweet, beautiful daughter wanted to read books with momma all morning until her nap. Have you seen my daughter? Have you ever witnessed her sheer exuberance when she wants to read "The Jolly Barnyard", or "Chicka Chicka Boom! Boom!"? This girl toddled around the living room picking up her favorite books and then bringing them back to me with giggles and squeals of glee, and politely asked, "Please?" by tapping her chest repeatedly with a huge grin on her face.

I am powerless in the face of such cuteness and good manners.

So we read books, and practiced the alphabet song and animal sounds, for about an hour and a half. We took short breaks so that she could switch books by tossing one on the floor, mourning its disappearance briefly by saying "Uh oh!", and then picking up a different book to read. She also gave frequent hugs and kisses, and adjusted her location atop her baby brother as he kicked her in the hiney. All in all, it was a lovely morning.

Not a morning that will help me to meet any of my productivity goals, but one that has a far greater purpose than that. It was a "big picture" sort of morning, wherein I let my daughter know how very precious she is to me; that she is more important than the laptop (and more important than toilet paper, this kid really rates!). I'm grateful to God for the grace to recognize this in the moment, that goals are sometimes meant to be forgotten or delayed. Or better yet, that sometimes goals fade in importance next to calling. Sure, it's my goal as a momma to keep my daughter in diapers and be stocked up on wipes. But it's my calling and purpose to respond to her need for love (and even some education...we are working on the horsey sound), and sometimes that might require some flexibility and rearranging on my part.

Or maybe this has been just a neurotic response to the guilt that has been building over the last few weeks as I've spent my mornings studying and basically ignoring her.

Either way, it was SO worth it.

SDG!

37 Weeks Tomorrow, and READY!

The post was dated January 1, 2011, but the events described took place on New Year's Eve. I had cleaned the kitchen and rearranged the utensil drawers. Mikayla was born about two weeks later. I wish I had noted when I reorganized the entire basement.

Fast forward a little over a year, and we find ourselves in a similar predicament, hoping for a similar outcome.

It has really only been the last few weeks that I have felt Really. Stinkin. Pregnant.  As in, tossing toys onto the floor from the couch in hope that it will keep Mikayla amused. And then asking her to bring them back so we can do it again. Repeat. Thankfully, she is turning into one helpful, obedient little girl! (Today she brought her snack container over to me from the diaper bag, asking "please! please!" with her hand motions. So I am placing small handfuls of Cheerios, raisins, and walnut pieces on the couch next to me. We are golden for the next 15-20 minutes.)

This morning, I was sitting on the couch just praying to keep my eyes open until her nap. When she went down a little before 10, what did I do? Did I flop onto my own bed, thankful for an opportunity to nab a bit more sleep? Did I engage in a peaceful, sitting-down activity such as the several that are on my to-do list? (i.e. make a client list with phone numbers in case of early labor, fill out PPLE scheduling form, etc.) Of course not. I grabbed a can of Pledge and a rag, and went to freaking TOWN in our bedroom.

(Full disclosure: I first typed "a can of furniture duster stuff", but then realized that it has an actual name that sounds slightly less idiotic.)

Everything up there is dusted. Dressers, nightstands, top shelves, bottom shelves, hall tables. Also. There are items in garbage bags that we have been holding onto for, if not our full 5.5 years of marriage, then darn close. (As an aside, I hope Joel approves the blond mullet wig for departure, but that is neither here nor there in my story.) Once everything was dusted and gone through, I also organized every drawer that opened, as well as under our bed, a space I haven't dared look at since Christmas. My stars. I don't know how I kept getting up and down and around the whole room, but it certainly seemed worth it at the time. Wore me plumb out, and then of course Mikayla woke up.

So here we sit doing the lazy snack thing and hoping lunch time just maybe passes us by today (ha ha) because, FINDING food and GETTING it ready and HEATING something up and POURING drinks and CLEANING up afterward. It can just be too much for a girl sometimes, you know?

So anyway, all that to say, I hope that Saturday's shopping trip and closet weed-out combined with the ridiculousness of this morning means that this is the two-week warning, as it was for Mikayla. How about you? Did you have a flurry of nesting activity a certain time before your baby arrived?

Am I The Only Round Momma-To-Be?

Consider this a plug for our local thrift store, the Goodwill that is just around the corner from our house.

Having just finished my EPPP (Exam for the Professional Practice of Psychology, or, Question Your Career Choice for Four Hours In a Small Room) yesterday, I decided to spend today doing things that I just, you know, felt like doing. Well that and ironing all the shirts Joel has been hanging on the closet door for the past three weeks and that I have been ignoring "because I have to study". Please don't feel devalued, fair readers, but once the ironing was finished, shopping for a few new (to me) things fell juuuuust above "finally blogging again" on my to-do list.

And seriously? There are some women in the Akron/Ephrata area who have seriously cleaned out their closets lately, and who know how to shop. I scored eight tops, one hippie skirt, and one pair of Caribbean Joe comfy pants for me, and two skirts, one dress, and a top that goes with both skirts for Mikayla. All for $45. I don't mean to brag, but I brought home brands like Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, The Limited, and Old Navy. My new pants went straight into the birth center bag; nothing like a little something new to make you feel pretty after giving birth, right?

Also, you might get a kick out of my criteria for today's purchases. Comfy and modest, good for wearing to church or work when I need to nurse/pump. I operationalized these criteria by asking myself the following questions: 1) Can I get this on (mostly) over my pregnant belly? 2) Is there any way Mikayla could stuff something down inside the front of this when I'm not looking?

If the answers to those questions weren't Yes and No, respectively, then on the hanger it stayed. And yes, Mikayla was there to dutifully help me decide.

I can only imagine what was running through the other shoppers' minds as they watched me waddling through the non-maternity section, and heading into the fitting rooms with all my items. Most of it was probably along the lines of "Oh honey...I don't think so."

This leads me to the second part of the post, which is a rant against current maternity styles.

The (longer, stretchy) tops I found in the regular women's section fit better than anything I tried on from the maternity rack. Seriously, I'm not sure who they think they are designing clothing for. What is the point of material that stretches (barely) around your girth if it stops 3/4 of the way down? Pregnant women are supposed to have large bellies, right? The problem is compounded by the fact that I work in an upstairs office, so my clients get a potential view of my underbelly as I waddle down the stairs to fetch them every hour. Gotta cover that business. You'd think the maternity clothing designers would be all over that. But they are not. Just thought you should know.

In conclusion, I brought home my purchases and proceeded to weed all the no-longer-fitting maternity clothing from my closet, replacing them with new, non-maternity but, in some cases, more accommodating items (makes perfect sense in month 9 of pregnancy, right?). I remember doing this when I was pregnant with Mikayla...toward the very end, bagging up all my maternity stuff to return or put away, feeling so D-U-N with this long growth process and eager to reverse it. Not to mention so. ready. to meet this little one who spends all his time tirelessly kneading my insides!

That about sums up my day. It's terribly mundane, I know, but there's nobody else around to tell, and nobody twisted your arm to read this far, did they? And if a trip to the Goodwill was blog-worthy, how uneventful has my life been lately? Study study study, with short breaks for food and bathroom. Sigh. I'm even cranky when I have a chance to edit. Must be time for bed!

God is good...next post: a recap of His recent faithfulness (to debunk the whole "uneventful" notion I just set forth; set aside some time, it might get lengthy!). SDG!

Pretzel Pandemonium (or, Rachael Ray has absolutely nothing to worry about)

Today I googled, "Can I bake waxed paper?"

The answer is, "No, you moron, what is wrong with you?"

So I was making homemade pretzels today, solely because I had half a block of Velveeta in the fridge that was just begging to have yummy snacks dredged in its molten remains. I started enthusiastically, mixed up the yeast, sugar, salt, flour - all obviously before reading more carefully that these would have to rise, and then be rolled, boiled, and then finally baked. Legit pretzels take some work, yo. By the time I realized how involved the process would be, I was already in it to win it, so I pressed on. My dough was just about finished rising beautifully over a pan of hot water (new tip from my mom to accelerate rising!) when Mikayla woke up from her nap. No problem, she loves playing in the kitchen!

Unfortunately, as I started into the rolling/boiling/baking part of the game, my freshly-awake, full-of-kisses Mikayla was clearly struggling with the concept of allowing Momma to do anything other than hold her baby girl. The general atmosphere in the kitchen was chaotic, what with Mikayla crying and shaking the spices, and the water boiling on the stove, and me frantically rolling pretzels before the water all boiled away. I had the baking sheets all prepped with what was SUPPOSED to be lightly oiled parchment paper. Since I was out of parchment paper, I used waxed paper for this step, making a mental note to remove the waxed paper before popping the sheets into my 450 degree oven.

Ha. Ha ha. That last paragraph full of excuses might just make me feel ever so slightly better about what comes next. Because I really did think through every pretzel-related decision today.

I was feeling So. Good. about the beautiful pretzels, boiled for precisely 30 seconds each, brushed with egg yolk and lightly salted. Mikayla was reaching the end of her little rope so I popped the pretzels into the oven and scooped her up. Eight (out of twelve) minutes later I wondered what the funny smell was...kind of smoky, not quite like fresh pretzels...OH NO THE WAXED PAPER I FORGOT THE PRETZELS ARE GOING TO CATCH ON FIRE WHAT SHOULD I DO!

Enter Google. Just to make sure because, you know, smelling smoke is not at all confirmatory of a BAD IDEA.

Thankfully, as I transferred the pretzels onto fresh wax-free baking sheets, the bottom layer just peeled completely off instead of having waxed paper fused onto the bottom of each pretzel...

The end result? Well obviously I had to quality-control those suckers as soon as they were cool enough to touch. Auntie Anne, eat your heart out. (They came out SO much better than that one time when I totally forgot an ingredient.) I might not be on my way to having my own cooking show, but what I lack in culinary elegance, I more than make up for in carb-full deliciousness. Plus, if it had all gone smoothly, you wouldn't have had this neat opportunity to laugh at me.

And now that I am 31 weeks pregnant, and home alone on a Friday night while my hunny baconates (works. brings home the bacon. duh.), it would be naive of you to believe I did not just melt down a hunk of that sweet Velveeta goodness and chow down on the biggest homemade soft pretzel available to me. And the remaining seven are in grave danger...their salvation lies in the fact that I already told Joel that I made pretzels, so he will wonder tomorrow if they are all gone...

In other news, I look like this at 30.5 weeks prego (taken Sunday, January 15):

Come March 21, Mikayla will wonder what happened to that handy seat that holds her up when Momma carries her.

Next post: big firsts from Mikayla!!

Week 29 Update

I don't know about you, but I can hardly believe that we are in week 29 of this pregnancy already! Third trimester is here, and I am visiting my midwife every other week. I'm measuring right on target for belly/baby size, and my weight gain is still definitely low compared to last pregnancy (although Christmas cookies have not helped at all, whatsoever). Overall, I feel good. Little 2P is getting bigger by the minute and continues to do plenty of flip flops to let me know he is healthy and strong!

Life has been so busy, which I'm sure contributes to the blinding speed of this pregnancy. Christmas preparations and celebrations, work responsibilities, studying for the EPPP (licensure exam for me). Oh, and watch for a blog post covering Mikayla's first birthday parties (!!). One happened just after Christmas in New Jersey, and the other will take place when we visit my parents in January, closer to her actual birthdate. Spoiler alert: this girl loves cake!

And the nesting? OH my my. Despite nursing a cold and sore throat for the past four days, I was upstairs yesterday clearing out drawers in the nursery and reorganizing the hall closet to make room for 2P's things. I have a TON of boy clothes, thanks to my dear sister passing along some of Elijah's clothes, and a few friends who also had boy clothes to give. My goal today, if I have the energy, is to do yet another clothing swap, putting away Mikayla's 9-12 stuff and pulling down the 18 month bin. And we will be ready to set up crib #2 as soon as we invite a friend over to help Joel move the mattress and box spring up to the attic, since we took the guest bed down a few weeks ago.

Phew!

This flurry of activity is, I'm sure, related to the start of the New Year and my closing in on the week 30 mark. In my mind, "after the holidays" and "January" have been the objects of my baby-prep procrastination. And now that those are actually drawing quite, quite near, the reality of having this baby soon is hitting me (well, us, if I may speak for Joel as well). Once we are into January, this baby will be here in just two months! Yikes! And I need to fit in a licensure exam and wrapping up loose ends at work before it all goes down.

Overwhelmed? Not at all...ok yes, a little...but with a supportive hubby who is finished with school (a Master of the Masters!), we should be able to get all these preparations knocked out in a timely manner.

Off to wash some diapers...and organize some baby clothes...and then collapse into a heap of sick tiredness for awhile. Stay tuned for "during" and "after" pictures of the nursery as it transitions from a one-baby room to a two-baby circus!

SDG!