At one point, Jen asked me how I was feeling, and my response was, “I’m in the zone!” And she said, “I can tell you are!” Only twice did I verbalize complaints about the pain. Once I told Joel that I couldn’t do it anymore, and he was quick to remind me that that feeling meant I was almost finished! And once when Joel went to call off work for the day, I sneaked a request to the midwife for pain meds. She told me I could have a series of injections that would “burn like crazy” but reduce some of the pain, or the medication that would not take away pain but would make me not care. Even in my condition, I knew that not caring was not an option, and that something that would “burn like crazy” and merely reduce the pain was also not worth it. Onward and upward, medication free! Joel was surprised when I told him later that I had asked. But I’m glad I asked, and decided against it. I feel stronger for it.
While transition was the most intense, it was also one of my favorite parts of labor. I was in my zone, feeling totally in control of my mind and body, and Joel was behind me with his arms around me, kissing my neck and continuously telling me how much he loved me, how amazing I was, and what a great job I was doing. I was certain that he would have broken hands from my squeezing (that’s how I sent all the pain to my hands – I squeezed the life out of his, and occasionally squeezed his shoulders instead. After all that, I can’t believe he was able to hold our baby after she was born!)
For me, transition lasted from 6 a.m. until around 9, when my water finally broke. Just before that, Jen started talking to me about an amniotomy, which would make things more intense but then probably allow me to get to pushing more quickly. She had also presented the idea of having a shot of pitocin just after delivery, to help reduce the odds of hemorrhaging. She explained that since I had had prodromal labor for about a week, my uterus might be fatigued by the time of delivery, which could cause a lot of bleeding. Unfortunately for Jen, but fortunately for us, transition was not the time to be explaining anything more complex than “focus, blow it away”. We were unable to provide a response at the time, and delivery passed with no pitocin shot and no hemorrhaging.
Back to the issue of the amniotomy – I heard Jen talking to the nurse about breaking my water. They knew we had hoped to avoid this, but as transition was taking awhile (though again I had no sense of time, and didn’t actually feel like it was taking a long time), she did make the suggestion. Just as with the pitocin idea, I wasn’t really able to render consent as contractions kept sweeping over me. Then, just after 9 a.m., my water broke spontaneously! We’re so thankful that we put the decision long enough to make it a moot point. For us, it was a clear testimony that waiting and allowing my labor to progress naturally was the best thing for both mama and baby.
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