So is it a puppy or a baby?

Joel and I were talking online today, as we are wont to do when we have a few minutes of down time, and I said that I wondered if people at work were starting to suspect that I'm pregnant. I feel - no, I know - that I'm much more hungry and sleepy much more frequently than usual. The observant onlooker would wonder what was going on and might put 2 and 2 together.

Also, and possibly more obviously....things are becoming much more round. I told Joel today that I feel fatter, and he told me that I look beautiful. Darling, that may be true, but facts are facts. When the pants don't button and maternity capris are a Godsend, we must acknowledge reality. So he said that yes, perhaps I am developing a small pooch.

And then I got really confused because I thought I was developing a small human. But it would explain why I feel - wait for it - sicker than a dog.

Thank you, I'll be here for nine months. Apparently the pregnancy hormones not only drain the energy and queasify the stomach, they also hone the wit.

Week 7 - My Little Blueberry, My Grape Love

Tiny one, it's hard to believe that already you are as large as a blueberry or a grape. Soon, when I write to you, I will have to address you as my not-so-tiny one! This week, so many miraculous changes are happening in your body. Your eyes have a retina and a lens, and your muscles are beginning to develop. You're beginning to produce your own blood. Your tiny organs, future teeth, and microscopic fingers and toes, are all there being knitted together. How I love each of your tiny parts! How fierce already is my motherly protection over you! Who dares to claim that life does not begin at conception, that you are not already my beloved child?

On my end, I have been feeling your presence more and more as the days go by. Brittany's BellaBand is my hero, helping me to be comfortable in my ever-tightening work pants. I know you can't be that big yet, but my body is expanding and getting ready for you (and, I dare say, retaining plenty of fluid to cushion your little home). I have felt more sick lately, especially Friday morning as I drove to a job interview. I almost pulled over on three separate occasions, but managed to swallow the urge (literally). And wow, the trips to the bathroom! The other night I woke up not once, but three times with an urgent need to GO. And then again, promptly at 7:30 a.m. For someone so tiny, you sure are having a huge effect!

And the digestive cycle goes something like this: Starving --> Eat --> Uncomfortably full (regardless of amount eaten) --> Queasy --> Starving!

There's also usually the insurmountable drowsiness that follows a decent meal.

We'll have to check in with your dad to see how the hormones and emotions have been doing lately. Thankfully, he's a fast learner, and lives to serve us both. Perhaps I can get him to write you a little something one of these days.

Ah, the never ending question of pregnancy just popped up yet again: Will the kitchen or the bathroom win out? Gotta run...

*ETA: I just remembered that we have chips and queso. Decision made, kitchen it is!

Lessons From the Womb

Tiny one, I marvel that your fragile life is so dependent upon my own. Everything that I eat and drink is nourishment for you. Each beat of my heart is your lifeblood. You squirm and move in your warm, secure little home, completely unaware that your life is sustained by someone much larger than yourself. Right now you are completely passive and reliant. You have no choice in anything, yet because you are loved, you are entirely safe. In fact, everything that I do for the next eight months will be for your benefit.

What a beautiful picture of the relationship between mother and child. I can't help but reflect on the parallels between this and the relationship between our Heavenly Father and His child. How completely and utterly dependent my life is upon Him. I move about in this life, but ultimately I am totally hemmed in by His love, held in the palm of His hand [Psalm 139]. Just as you rely on the beating of my heart and nourishment from my body, so every word that proceeds from His mouth is the bread of my life, and His Spirit is the breath that fills my lungs. In Him, I live and move and have my being [Acts 17:28]. Apart from Him, I can do nothing [John 15:5]. And although God has ordained whatsoever shall come to pass, although He alone is sovereign over my life and my future, I know that I am safe in Him. He alone is worthy of my trust. He has set my foot upon a rock, making my steps secure [Psalm 40:2].

One day, I will teach you about our Heavenly Father. But today, tiny one, you are teaching me.

I Might Just Doze Off....Again

Good morning world. I just arrived at work about fifteen minutes ago and already I need a nap. I can squeeze in 20-30 minutes on my couch before I head to supervision at 9. Just thought you should know.

Anybody know a good strategy for combating the fatigue of pregnancy, other than completely succumbing to it? I actually got a good night's sleep last night. Punctuated by highly vivid, highly strange dreams.

On the bright side, I was offered an interview tomorrow morning for a postdoctoral position down toward Lancaster. My brilliant plan is to come into work around lunchtime, no matter what time the interview is, and spend the non-interview portion of the morning sleeping. The thought of a little extra rest just might be enough to get me through today!

Thank you, that is all for now.

Positive Proof

I just came across a pregnancy week-by-week cartoon gallery, and this was the entry for week 5. I know we're past that fun time of neurosis-inducing uncertainty, but it's still funny and...no, I never did anything like this, ever.
[HT: http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/cartoons/cartoon5]

Pregnancy Week 6 or 5

This post is for the ladies, and for the gentlemen who are interested in learning about week 6 pregnancy symptoms. Consider yourself warned, though I do use discretion in determining what's fit to post

At 5 weeks and 3 days, I think that puts me in week 6 of pregnancy. I'm not sure; pregnancy math is confusing. Because I have completed 5 weeks, meaning the gestational age of the baby is just over 3 weeks....so obviously, I'm in week 6. Or I'm in week 5. Little help here?

To review, according to my very fuzzy pregnancy math, Little P is about the size of - you guessed it - a pea. How can something so very small be causing such big issues for mama?




"They" say that the signs and symptoms of pregnancy often kick in at week 6, but I beg humbly to differ. I've felt queasy for two weeks now, often worse in the evenings. Ginger ale and peppermint tea are my new best friends. I've been more exhausted than usual, grabbing quick naps in my office once or twice each day. This could reflect pregnancy-related fatigue, or be simply a function of waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Every night. Either way, productivity is dwindling, and I'm hoping for the fabled second-trimester energy surge.

Also, my ability to button my pants comes and goes - I can't wait til Becca arrives for our maternity-clothes-bargain-shopping trip this weekend, so I can nail down some pants that I can count on to fit comfortably. I asked Brittany to lend me her Bella Band last week and she looked at me funny (over the phone). She told me later that she was thinking my, what a fast-growing baby! But no, as precocious as our child is bound to be, it's simply the gift of the early pregnancy bloat. (Belly pictures to come!)

I am actually quite grateful for all the signs and symptoms of pregnancy. They are a sweet reminder of how very blessed we are with this gift of new, developing life. I will take nausea and fatigue any and every day if it means that the Lord sees fit to fill our quiver with children.

Hormones, you ask? Oh, not much. (Joel, why are you laughing?)

So the other night, Joel graciously offered to make peppermint tea to help settle my stomach while we played Super Mario Brothers Wii (pronounced effeminately: wheeeeeeee!). I sipped this gratefully until we reached a breaking point, at which we decided to watch an online episode of something or other, and Joel suggested ice cream. He also suggested that, since he had made the tea, perhaps I could scoop the ice cream.

WELL.

You would have thought he suggested that I hike to the top of the Alps to milk the goat to churn my own ice cream with my bare hands, uphill both ways. I'm not even sure what my face looked like, but I remember Joel's terrified expression belying his fear of imminent, painful death. For my part, I flopped dramatically onto the couch and just laid there, unsure of what to say. Because a small piece of my rational mind still gasped for breath, and was sending a desperate S.O.S. for me to pull. it. together. I seriously almost cried.

In the end, I'm happy to report that Joel scooped (generous portions of) ice cream for both of us.

And the following evening when we wanted ice cream again, he tentatively suggested that perhaps if I wanted to and wasn't feeling too tired at the moment, and it would be totally up to me, but maybe I could possibly scoop some ice cream if I felt like it?

I don't remember the outcome to Ice Cream, Part the Second, so surely that means I was both rational and amenable to his suggestion. My husband is wonderful. He is sensitive and caring, and learns from mistakes which are not even worthy to be called true mistakes. Joel, you've got 34 more weeks to perfect the art of supportive clairvoyance.

Cue "We've Only Just Begun" and Joel requiring therapy....

A "Little P" in the Pod

If you've read this far on the page, then you know that we're eagerly awaiting the arrival of our "Little P," as I have affectionately been calling our little one. How appropriate, then, that as of this inaugural post our tiny miracle is just about the size of a single pea. (Note, however, that the nickname "Little P" is not short for pea. Explanation to follow in a special post by Joel!)


Welcome to the world, tiny one! It's hard to believe that you've been in existence for almost a month now. Few people know about you - though all of the most important ones, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, and especially your daddy and I, have already begun to pray for you. In fact, your daddy and I have been praying for you since long before you were conceived. Your very life is a testimony to the fact that the Lord answers the prayers of His children and is the giver of all good things. Our heavenly Father gives and takes away, and in this season He has graciously chosen to give. Your daddy and I are the grateful, humble recipients of the most precious gift imaginable.

You.

I know you don't yet understand who this Lord is, or this heavenly Father of whom I speak. But He knows you, has known you since before I ever dreamed of you. Right this very moment He is knitting you together inside of me, in fearful, wonderful ways I cannot fathom. In His perfect wisdom, He has been preparing your daddy and me to be your parents for awhile now. How we have prayed for you! How we have waited, and longed to hold you in our arms. Know that you, precious one, are so loved and desired before your first heartbeat, long before your first breath in this world.

What a daunting task lies ahead. I must keep reminding myself that waiting for you to grow, and welcoming you at long last into the world, are but the first baby steps of a life-changing journey. You and I will learn together, tiny one, with your wonderful daddy to lead and guide us, what it means to inherit the covenant blessings of our faithful God and Savior. I have a feeling that no matter how much I think I know, your little life will be such a marvel and such a mystery as to leave me wondering at God's unsearchable ways. Praise Him for this!

My heart is so full of thoughts and questions, but the one that is foremost right now is this: I trust the Lord with your life. This is not the first time I have said this, and surely will not be the last. Each day of your life is carefully appointed, hemmed in behind and before by the goodness and gentle mercy of our heavenly Father. Your daddy and I thank Him each day that His hand is upon you inside my womb, and acknowledge that you belong fully and ultimately to Him. What a safe place for you to be - not merely being formed within me by some primordial biological process, but securely resting in the palm of Him who created all things and is creating you, yes you, for His glory.

Soli deo gloria