Telling Mikayla About the Ultrasound

We have our first ultrasound scheduled for Monday, and I got the reminder call this morning at breakfast. As I hung up, Mikayla naturally asked who I was talking to.

So I told her, "On Monday, we are all going to the doctor's office, and he will take a picture-"

And here I suddenly became quite choked with sentiment, as I found myself talking to my firstborn about my nextborn.

"-of our new baby!"

She has no idea what this means yet. No sense of how special it will be to see that little black and white blob on the screen, this tiny life inside Mommy's belly. Or even that it is a life. I don't know if she'll ever remember getting this first glimpse of her little sibling. I know Isaac won't. But it sure was emotional for me to speak of it to my children.

As I squeezed the words out past the lump of emotion in my throat, Mikayla stared at me and promptly choked on her apple. I'm sure it was because she, too, felt overwhelmed at the unexpected swell of excitement and tenderness in her heart. (Don't worry, she was fine.)

Isaac, for his part, didn't miss a beat mashing his banana into his mouth. He'll figure it out eventually, in a few months when there's no room for him on my lap.

To My Second Son

Sweet son of mine, not yet born, I haven't written to you before now. I'm afraid it's the plight of the third born - your big sister and brother keep me far too busy to allow me to reflect on you for very long. But in all the moments between snacks and naps, diapers and drama, my thoughts turn to you. And my stars, how you steal my attention, even when I can't spare it! You sit low, and you move so vigorously, your presence in my belly is hardly subtle. Everyone seems surprised that my due date is still two months off - but then, my babies all tend to sit right out in front of me, announcing themselves proudly to the world.

Baby boy, I am so looking forward to meeting you. The lullaby that was sung to me as a baby, and is now sung to my little ones, questions, "Who will you be tomorrow? What are the paths you will follow?" How I love to ponder this as I feel your kicks and wiggles! Your siblings have taught me that motherhood is, yes, molding and teaching little souls, but it is far more learning and getting to know little personalities than I ever dreamed! They have brought so much joy that I may be more excited about meeting you than I was about meeting my firstborn, if that is at all possible. Motherhood just keeps getting better!

The themes of this pregnancy have been provision and peace. When I learned I was carrying you, my heart inclined more than ever toward my children and home. I began to pray that God would give us a way for me to be a momma full-time. I knew it was what I wanted, and I had a peace that the Lord would bring it about, though I couldn't fathom how. And I knew it wouldn't necessarily be a popular or understandable choice to many people, for a licensed psychologist with a doctoral degree to lay all that aside to change diapers and wipe noses and spread peanut butter - but it is simply a different, more demanding, more precious kind of kingdom work than what I do at the office. The Lord led us, prayerfully, in faith, to the decision that I would indeed stay home with you and your big siblings, though it leave us broke. And in His time, He has ordained just these last few weeks for your dadda to have a new job that will provide. Hallelujah!

While carrying you, our family has gone through significant stresses and changes, including a possible return of your Papa's cancer. We prayed and prayed, and even while we waited for news and test results, God covered us all with His peace. He granted us, supernaturally, to trust Him that whatever the outcome, it was in His hands. And, supernaturally, all those tests were clear. Again, the theme of provision. Hallelujah! Your Gramsie and Papa are moving, now we are moving, and your Aunt Brittany and Uncle Kory await news of their future plans as well. Peace and provision are what we continue to seek, and the Lord continues to give in abundance.

We have peace with the Lord through Christ, and trust His hand for our daily bread; He assures us that we are His beloved. Precious boy, know that your name arises from the Lord's faithfulness and the ways He has shown Himself in these first months of your life. Just as Mikayla Grace reminds us of God's generosity in granting us fertility, and Isaac Victor recalls the surprise and laughter of God's plan at his birth, your name will commemorate God's granting of peace and provision through incredible upheaval and change. I love you already, not least because of what you will symbolize to us as you arrive in our arms. And we will have you baptized, sealed as the Lord's, with the promise that His peace will extend to you all your days.

Oh, there you are again, leaping to remind me that you love to be awake at this time of evening. I can almost picture how you must look, all arms and legs competing for space, tiny elbows poking your momma. How precious you are, how precious you will be. Grow, baby boy, and get your exercise in there, because you will need your strength to hold up to the exuberant love that your big sister and brother are just dying to share with you already! Can you feel the raspberries they blow all over my belly? Do you enjoy or dread the "love bonks" that your brother imparts? He asks to see you, pulls up my shirt, and says "Oooh, he's nice! He's big!", loving on you as only a sweet two year old can. Your sister tells me all the time how she will help you walk, how she will hold you in her arms, how she will feed you. And she asks frequently if the baby is ready to "pop out" yet. Get ready, my sweet, for you enter into a family that will simply smother you with love!

With all my heart,
Momma

"Art" Projects and Psychobabble

Imagine that you have a three year old and a two year old running around the house. Say, for the sake of argument, that one of them is very talkative and the other enjoys channeling zoo animals.

Now, pretend that you are also 30 weeks pregnant. Lots of energy. Usually in a great mood.

Add to this thought exercise the unexpected goal of packing your house to move in three weeks.

Now, what does your house probably look like? Fantastic, right? And guess what else is happening? People are starting to COME LOOK AT YOUR HOUSE to decide if they want to live there.

Well, color me motivated to stack all the boxes neatly along the walls, (have my husband) vacuum the box-debris and diaper lint from the carpets, and investigate the condition of the toilets. It will take all my self-restraint not to follow the prospective tenant and our wonderful landlord around the house explaining why there's no bedspread on the guest bed (and why it's currently sans bed frame), the obsessive-looking stacks of baby clothing bins lining that room, and of course this:

Yes, friends, we have made it two years without scribbling on the walls and yet a month before we move out, a short week before we roll out the welcome mat for house showings, one of our darling children grabbed a dry erase marker and unleashed his inner Picasso (I'm assuming it was a man-child, no particular reason). I am so stoked for the paint job that I now have ahead of me. Actually, we were going to paint this section of wall anyway because as you can see, it was previously unfinished. Our plan had been to paint it with whiteboard paint, but I hadn't yet taken the plunge (for some reason that felt like a big commitment? Having moved four times in our eight years of marriage, I guess I have a hard time committing to a wall. Issues.).

So what could have been a leisurely return to paint a small patch of wall, perhaps even after we move out, by someone non-pregnant, has now become a "Shoot, Joel, can you run to Walmart for a paint roller after the kids go to bed so I can paint this before the showing tomorrow?"

Just a guess - my "Conscientiousness" scale would be just a bit high on a Big Five personality assessment. That's the one measuring, basically, perfectionism and sense of responsibility to others. Possibly also "Neuroticism". But hey I'm also highish on "Openness to new experiences" so at least I'm a good time at parties. And I feel obligated to clean up afterwards!

Totally unrelated note: you know what's a great idea? Applying a coat of paint at 9:00 p.m., observing black marker clearly through the first coat, and THEN reading the label that says, "Wait four hours before recoating". Huh. Doing the math, that roughly means I'm an idiot and/or going to be very tired tomorrow. Also there is barely enough paint left for the recoat, so forget about pouring it back into the can, washing out the roller, and recoating tomorrow morning. Also, I have this thing about drop cloths being for wimps, but thankfully that one hasn't come back to bite me just yet.

Also mostly unrelated: The best husband ever came home with not just a paint roller, but also snickerdoodles and peanut butter cookies. He speaks my love language. And no, I do not have any idea why my babies are always over 8 pounds at birth, why do you ask?

I did manage to get a second coat on the wall just an hour later, though it required tilting the paint tray back and forth to spread the puddles of paint enough to cover my roller again. I like to live on the edge like that - close calls and late-night excitement. The wall looks great! And it's juuuust warm enough that I can crack the bathroom windows this morning to freshen them up before the walk through. Let's just say that'll help the house to show better. A cloth diaper pail in a closed-up bathroom all winter can leave one, shall we say, looking forward to some air circulation.

In all seriousness, we're praying for the right tenants to come along behind us. We've been so blessed by this home the past two years, and by our sweet landlord, that we sincerely hope to leave it a little better than we found it and that the next family here is a delight for her as well. Although I'm not sure she'll find any *cuter* tenants than the two currently occupying the second upstairs bedroom.

No-Poo Woo Hoo!

I'm telling you, I think in rhymes and children's songs. The level of sophistication in my house is so low, it's probably like a black hole sucking all of the grown-up-ness up for miles around. Which explains a little about some of the neighbors, now that I think about it. Oh, wait, did you think the blog title was referring to my regular fantasy of a day without soiled diapers? The one that isn't likely to happen any time in the next two and a half years minimum?

Well, I currently "no-poo" (though my children certainly don't, heh), which actually refers to not using shampoo, and thought I'd share an update for other all-natural weirdos out there. The only shampoo that's touched my hair in the past year was one time when we were on vacation with friends and I got lazy. I just used what was in the shower. (It was a decent, at least middle of the road shampoo that you might have in your shower as well.) I could tell a HUGE difference, as my hair went totally limp and fine afterward and would hardly stay in a ponytail. That's been typical of my hair throughout my life, not wanting to stay up in any kind of style or hold a curl. With the "no-poo", though, the natural oils aren't washed out and it gives my hair awesome texture and shine. For me, it is win-win. I don't spend money on shampoo or hair product, and my hair is infinitely more manageable and very soft.

Oh and I was shampooed twice during my semi-annual haircuts. Same story as above, but with lots of hair product to scour out with my baking soda "no-poo"over the next few days.

If you are thinking of trying the "no-poo" system (you are totally dying to give up shampoo, right??), I have a few tips to help you give it a really fair trial:

1. Commit to doing no-poo only for 30 days. Your scalp will take a little while to adjust the amount of oil it makes, and yes, you might feel really oily for awhile. My first time around, I bailed after a couple of weeks because I was dying for some lather and felt like a grease pit (my second time around, I used more baking soda and had way more success; see #2 below). If you alternate between no-poo and shampoo, your scalp won't make the adjustment and you might always feel a little dissatisfied with your no-poo hair. It also helps you break your addiction to shampoo lather ;-). After that first month, it's smooth sailing! Like I said, I don't use any product, and my hair has great softness, shine and body. I am very amazed by this, even a year later. Please tell me if I'm delusional and my hair looks yucky, but I'm pretty sure nobody can tell.

2. Be flexible with your recipe. If you're a few weeks in and still feeling oily, add more than a tablespoon of baking soda to your cup of water. At this point, I eyeball how much baking soda I put in the bottom of my bottle, and fill it up with close to two cups of water. Shake before each use to dissolve the soda again.  If your scalp seems a little too dry, you could try less baking soda. This is totally customizable! Same with your vinegar rinse. I would play with the baking soda ratio first, and stick with about 1 tablespoon vinegar to 1 cup of water, and mess with the vinegar rinse later.

Here's the basic idea to get you started:
Add 1 Tablespoon baking soda to 1 cup water. Shake well, apply to hair and scrub your scalp like you were trying to lather it. Work into hair as well. Rinse well with water. It'll feel sticky when rinsed. Over time, instead of feeling weird, this will just make you look forward to the next step, which makes your hair so soft.

Add 2 Tablespoon apple cider vinegar to 1 cup water. Squirt over hair to saturate, rub in a little like a conditioner, and rinse well with water. Sometimes I let it sit on my scalp for a few minutes while I do other things. The vinegar rebalances the pH of your hair and scalp, which is vital to this process because baking soda is very basic. Plus, the sticky thing.

For dispensing, I have found that cheap condiment bottles from Walmart work well. The kind with long pointy spouts that you squeeze to dispense, and little caps to go on the tip of the spout, you know? I paid a buck each for them, and they squirt out at a rate that lets me get what I need all over my head. For faster dispensing, you can snip off the tip of the spout to make a bigger opening. I've used bottles with larger openings, and ended up dumping a ton of baking soda water in one spot on my head, and running out before I'd no-poo'ed my whole head. The condiment bottles hold close to 2 cups, I think, and last me two hair-washings.

I often mix up a big 64-cup batch of the baking soda and vinegar mixtures in larger containers with big flip top lids, and just refill from there before every other shower. When it gets to be routine, it's not a hassle at all. And no, I don't smell like a salad. The vinegar rinses away clean, and leaves my hair soft and shiny as I mentioned above. It won't be "squeaky clean" like it might be after shampoo, because the oils are still intact. But it also won't be limp and dirty looking right away like mine always is after I use conditioner (I have tried all kinds).

Why am I sharing the details of my non-shampoo regimen? Because I failed the first time I tried it. And because with any new process or product, I've found greatest success when I had the most knowledge about how to go about it and what to expect. So in case you've been curious about trying it, or just a little voyeuristic about the kind of weirdos who "no-poo", now you know!

Confession: One of my favorite things about using homemade face wash, no-poo in clearish bottles, and nice bar soap for washing is the look of total purity and simplicity in my shower. Is it weird that I enjoy not looking at labels or illustrations of flowers and fruit? This teeters on the brink of a pride issue for me, I think, evidenced by my relegating Joel's store-bought body wash and shampoo to the other shower shelf, the one behind my back. You can lead 'em to water, but you can't make 'em drink.

I'm looking for a recipe for some kind of natural baby wash. If one doesn't come along soon, I think I might splurge on something for this new baby and use it on the toddlers as well. I've read things about store-bought baby washes that make me uncomfortable; even if they aren't causing babies to mutate before our eyes, I like the idea of knowing all the ingredients and that I'm putting safe, healthy substances all over my children's bodies. Do you know of a recipe, or a good natural brand I could try?

Thanks for stopping by!

Homemade Diaper Cream and Deodorant Update and Recipes

Since I know you love context, I'll first tell you that my soundtrack while typing this blog post is my daughter upstairs directing a duet of Judy Rogers' "What will you say today, with your tongue?" (whatever it's called) when she and little brother should be napping. And now, "Mommy, my mirror fell off the wall!" repeatedly through the monitor. Hmm, I wonder how that happened when both of them are theoretically tucked snugly in their beds?

Next, of course, the urgent pitter patter of "We're totally justified at getting out of bed for this!" footsteps on the stairs. It must be the notification brigade, one of whom managed to do this with his shirt while he was "sleeping":

Now for the content. Perhaps you remember when I went all gung-ho natural last year and posted about various natural cleaners and personal products I planned to try. I've been so happy with the diaper cream, face wash, and deodorant that they are definitely part of my permanent regimen. I've also been using a rose water and glycerin face moisturizer, but bought it already mixed so I can't tout it as homemade.

Since we are going to be taking just bare essentials with us when we move next month, and will be without our full range of supplies for up to six months, I figured I should refill my diaper cream and deodorant before we move (face wash I make every 4-6 weeks). I haven't refilled since I made the original recipes - when was that, last summer sometime? So these go a long way! I expect the diaper cream to be used up a little faster with a newborn, as Isaac is pretty well established in his cloth diapers and doesn't have issues too frequently. But when he does, they have either been super mild, or this diaper cream is a magic charm! It's also been seemingly safe for my cloth diapers, no repelling issues here.

If you're interested, here is my diaper cream recipe:
[makes about 1 cup, or a small jelly jar]

1/8 cup coconut oil (room temperature, soft or liquid)
1/4 cup raw shea butter (softened)
3-4 Tbs cornstarch or arrowroot powder (optional - for thickness)
Several drops lavender essential oil (optional, for scent)

Mix oil and butter with stick blender or mixer (it gets a great whipped texture!) then stir in powder 1 Tbs at a time til desired consistency.

I think the powder would also help with some odor absorbency in the diaper. I didn't add it the first time, but will try it this time around. The texture/consistency was fine without it, very spreadable and softened immediately with body heat. I wouldn't be opposed to having it a little thicker and with some odor-fighting properties. I also left it unscented the first time, and it was fine, but I'd love to give it a little lavender fragrance. I'm sure you could use whatever scent you would find enjoyable on your baby's bottom.


And deodorant:
[fills two small jelly jars, so about 2 cups?]

5-6 Tbs coconut oil (room temperature, soft or liquid)
1/8 cup arrowroot powder
1/8 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup baking soda
Several drops bergamot oil (optional, for scent)

Mix powders together, then slowly add oil until you have a "pomade" consistency.

Notes: I split my oil amount between coconut oil and a little raw shea butter when I made it last year, and loved it. The nice thing about coconut oil is even though it gets firm in the jar, as soon as you get a little pea-sized amount on your fingertips to rub into your underarm, it softens right up and rubs in. I left this unscented last year too and it's been fine (a little coconut-y!), but the original recipe website suggested bergamot oil. I could go for a little fragrance, I think, especially as I'll be surrounded by lots of bodily fluids and earthy smells this summer with the arrival of baby brother (you're welcome for the imagery!).

I'm debating whether to cut the deodorant recipe in half this time, as it made two jelly-jar pots full and we are just now down to the last half jar. It's kind of nice to only have to make super-cheap non-toxic deodorant once in an entire year though! I think I spent a total of...totally guessing here...three dollars on all of the deodorant I used in the past ten months. A few tablespoons of shea butter, coconut oil, and the powders...I spent maybe $15 on everything that wasn't already in my pantry when I first mixed up a batch. I already had cornstarch and baking soda, which are both inexpensive anyway. And this recipe barely dips into any of the ingredients!

So there you go. If you're interested in spending all of $5 at the most on both diaper cream and deodorant for the year, try these recipes. You'll invest a little more than that for your ingredients, but they will apparently last for years if you're not using them for other things!

If you are wondering about the face wash, I'll include it here too:

Brew a strong cup of chamomile tea. Allow to cool.
Combine:
1/4 cup cooled tea
1/4 cup castile soap
3/4 tsp grapeseed, almond, hazlenut, avocado or olive oil (I use grapeseed)
8 drops essential oils (I have used tea tree and orange but might try the lavender I got for my diaper cream)

I actually cut this recipe in half, and just dump all these ingredients into the small jelly jar I use for my face wash, and shake it up to combine. Shake before each use, as the ingredients separate. I use this for shaving as well, because the oil makes my skin so soft and gives a smooth shave. That also helps me use it up in my 4-6 week time frame; since it has no preservatives, I feel like much longer than that and it could get a little gross. Maybe that's just me being paranoid?

How about you? Have you tried any of these, or other, homemade recipes for personal care products? I'm always looking to learn more and make them even more user-friendly. Though I'm not sure how to get more user-friendly than stick-blending a few ingredients once a year!

Upcoming posts: "No-poo" for your hair, and homemade laundry detergent update

Wearing Sockses, Buying Boxes

I know, just call me Dr. Seuss; this post title was inspired by funny things from near and far. Would you like to box a Gox? Perhaps in yellow Gox box socks?

This morning, M presented herself in my room wearing exactly one black polka dot sock and a pink hat. Oh, and a big smile, but it probably goes without saying that my three year old would be in her glory at that level of undress. Naturally, she needed help getting the sock on properly, and immediately thence scampered back to her room for the rest of her attire. Would the world be a happier place if we all donned our clothing socks-and-pink-hats first? She may be on to something there.

In other news, I just placed an order for $244 worth of various sized moving boxes and packing tape. Because when she's packing up her worldly possessions at 30 weeks pregnant, Momma doesn't track down used grocery store and Chick Fil A boxes. The boxes (that do not smell like eggs and frozen french fries) come to Momma. U-haul buys back any boxes we don't use, but still. Don't be surprised if the book we get you for Christmas arrives in a 24 x 20 x 34 Shorty Wardrobe Box.

It's true. My husband is climbing - nay, catapulting - up the academic librarian career ladder by way of a two-hour move in the eleventh hour of pregnancy. Okay, maybe the tenth hour.There are so many ways in which this is an answer to prayer, even if it does have our heads spinning! The Lord provided a full-time position for Joel, complete with insurance benefits, a mere one week before Isaac's birth. I suppose I should be grateful for all the advance notice this time around! This move will allow me to stay home with the littles full-time and put my heart and soul and what's left of my brain into homeschooling. (It might not be much, but I think I can still keep ahead of a three year old.)

So if you find yourself with any extra plastic bags, small boxes or paper boxes (we have many size boxes, but little ones are helpful for packing small breakables inside larger boxes), or spare time and you want to watch my kids for a morning, let me know! We've been beyond blessed with support from our friends and family already, and are thankful the Lord places us in family and in His body all the time, but especially in times like these. More coming soon on how He has been caring for all our details...what a gracious God we serve!

Overheard at My House Lately

In case you've been wondering why I don't blog more often, it's because at 27 (I think) weeks pregnant and with a three year old and two year old at home, my world is more disjointed and humorous than it is blog-worthy. And no, I'm not totally sure "how pregnant" I am without consulting a calendar. I know the number changes on Sundays, but I can never quite remember whether the number in my head was from last week, or the one coming up. So, ballpark, I'm at the beginning of the third trimester, and hoping this baby makes a precocious appearance well before his due date of June 15.

As an example of the typical conversations at our house, the following transpired one morning when M came over for snuggle time before we all trooped downstairs for breakfast. Background: I have this little white vase full of colored stones, recently discovered and also strewn about my entire bedroom by the kids.

M: Where is your white bowl with stones?
Me: I'm not really sure (God's honest truth, actually, since Joel seems to have hidden it since The Scattering)
M: I. and I were sprinkling the stones on top of us.
Me: Oh, really?
M: (exuberantly) Yes, we were PIZZA!!!

Also, this afternoon, I. trooped out of his room for the thirty bazillionth time when he should have been napping. I had wisened up and parked myself on my bed to get some work done, rather than making my thirty bazillionth trip up and down the stairs to discipline. He peeked into my room in the cutest possible way, because he totally knows how not to get spanked. After I acknowledged him, he tiptoed in and with his big beautiful eyes gazing adoringly into mine, he said, "This is a pretty room, mommy!" I don't know whether it was the noticeable lack of laundry baskets that have been residing in the corner for several days, or the aforementioned knack for avoiding spankings, but either way this kid seems to be a Husband of the Year-in-Training. His next comment? "I like your bed, mommy." I can't even get over him.

And then of course there's M. again, who instructed me through all the steps of disciplining I. one of the many times I found him out of his bed this afternoon. Golly, it had been so long since I had to spank anybody, I probably would have forgotten something important if it hadn't been for my diligent three-year-old.

Currently, I'm sitting on my bed, having surrendered to an afternoon completely devoid of naps. I'm listening to the sound of M. getting something out of the refrigerator, probably grapes, and I. is parading around in my slippers. Now M. is here asking what else she can have for her snack, and somebody is gassy (not me, I swear). Life is full, life is chaotic, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Except possibly five minutes to myself in a locked bathroom with a glass of wine.

Gotta run, everyone's crying!